majounplugged

It came rolling. Drums were sounding the march that we had to walk with.

It was indeed an unexpected moment when the four-year stay I had with AUF ended as a BIG BANG.

Sure, I did my part. But I never really thought that they would give me the Latin Award. :) Thank you, Daddy God for everything! For the guidance and the struggles. If it weren’t for these unexpected turn of events, I won’t even be able to go inside the four corners of the quadrangle and march with my fellow graduates.

                               Marjorie Celis

   The Top Outstanding Student for Performing Arts 2012,                              

Cum Laude, Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in English

To God be all the Glory!

      I totally engrossed myself to making others feel happy and safe that I forgot how it is to make myself feel the same way as I did with them. It’s like everything’s falling apart and all you can do is see them live their happy lives while you stay there questioning if you even did the right thing. For them? Maybe…yes. Then there goes “yourself” asking you the same question and all you can do is say, “I’m sorry I pushed your happiness aside for the welfare of others.”

      It felt so painful. Those words that shocked the inner system that only wanted peace and love to reign. Bakit kasi naimbento pa ang word na “misunderstanding”? At bakit kasi may mga taong di nila malapat ang sarili nilang ulam sa sawsawan ng iba? Bakit pa kasi kailangan pang may mga sulsulero’t sulsulera?

      If my inner self could only split with my other self, it would get a knife and stab me the more. I appreciated a friend telling me that I should give myself a break. A break from all this ‘others’ welfare’ thingy because it’s killing me. Killing the self respect I so tried so hard to hold on to. But I can’t. I just can’t. Why? Because when you love, you know no stains of misunderstanding and hearsay that would ruin that passion burning inside you.

      Too much love will kill you, as said by the song. But it is my belief that as a Christian, you should do what He wants you to do, and that is to love unselfishly. To love with all your heart even if it means giving your self as a sacrifice. Sana nga nakikita nila yung bigger picture na yun. Na kahit alam kong maraming may magsasabi ng masasamang bagay towards you, you still have to do it. Kahit sabihin pa nilang ma-papel ka na masyado sa buhay nila, you still have to. ‘Cause that is what is stated in the Bible. And you know that with the Bible, with His words, nothing can ever go wrong. And so you go back to Romans 8:28, that “all things work together for good to those who love God and to those who are called according to His purpose”.

      Alam ko may purpose si Lord kung bakit Niya hinayaan na magkawatak-watak ka ngayon, Majo. You, feeling all this inside your heart, na nagrereklamo na nga na sana maisip mo din daw yung kalagayan niya. Didibdiban me kasi ie. Ang sagot ko naman, “MAHAL KO E. ANG PAGMAMAHAL, WALA SA ISIP. NASA PUSO.”

      Mahal ko kayo, kaya lang ang sakit sakit na. Sana magka-ayos bago man lang siguro ako kunin ni Lord.

As reposted from my facebook account http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=390855857594289. :)

NOPE! This is not Margaret Freinberg’s book na binili ko last Sunday. But are the notes (na literally e ni-note ko sa isang NOTEPAD at chinena ko dito sa Write A Note ng FB).

*Warning: If you are tagged in this note, you are warned that it is a looooooong chena. It may even come out to you as an insignificant one..but is definitely worth your time to read. :) Comment a smile when you’re through reading it and hesitate - not! - to leave your personal comments about it.^^ Pwedeng chena lang din or ka-eklahan.

I am to graduate a few more days from now. And my effing (sawry… can’t help it.) dilemma is the same title that I have for this particular note. I guess, every student who is to be on my shoes has the the same question in his/her mind right now.

What the heck am I going to do with my life?

Now that graduation’s fast approaching and I can but only let time fly and get the best of my abilities out of me. Opportunities are everywhere. Sino ba kasing nagsabing walang trabaho sa Pilipinas?? (Sangkaterba kaya!) Yun nga lang, not all are eligible to the requirements of the job. May mga standards na sadyang iilan lang ang nakaka-meet sa mga yon. And one of those standards set by job seekers is. atleast, a diploma that would prove that you are accountable as a person to meet such standards. OO, Diploma sa College ang madalas hinahanap ng mga nagha-hire. Tama po yun mga kababayan.

Fast approaching event!

Kung date e parang sa mga palabas lang sa tv ko napapanuod yung mga eksenang “May pinag-aralan ba siya?”, AYBA! Eto na nga’t darating din pala ako sa puntong makakatuntong ako sa kolehiyo at aakyat sa entablado para kunin ang sertipikong aking pinaghirapan ng apat na taon!?

Grabeng realizations ang dumating sa akin nung na-bless akong makakuha ng skolarship sa AUF. Sa tulong ng Performing Arts, particularly sa scholarship na inoffer sakin ni Sir Boron (na, I’m proud to say is one of the best mentors I had during my academic years), e eto na nga’t darating din pala ako sa puntong masasabi ko sa sarili ko na “Gagraduate ako ng COLLEGE!”. Unsure if there would be a Latin title labeled on my diploma, but I’m not even thinking about that right now. The image that I would like to have right now is not even my diploma but an image of me finally wearing the black toga they wear for graduation, alongside with my foster family - all smiles for the camera. Kasi, atlast! GRADUATE NA AKO!

Well, the glory all goes back to Him. Kasi, I am fully aware that : “without Him” - All these things that are happening in my life would not be possible. (Mark 9:23). Super. As in….\m/!

And now that, yun nga, pa-graduate na and all, super dami din ng mga job offers na tumatawag ARAW-ARAW sa cellphone ko (na bigay ng aking mga BUNAKIS “LABLAB KO KAYO MGA BUNAK!”), di na tuloy ako magka-ugagang magpa-print sa Glooms ng mga application letters at resume na ibibigay ko sa mga schools na tumatawag at nagtetext sa ‘kin.

Unfortunately, my heart’s split into two. The thing I love the most requires me energy na nuon pa e natural ko lang na binibigay kapag I am asked of it. And there goes the other thing na unti-unti kong minamahal, na ngayon e hindi ko na rin maalis sa system ko. Everyday, bukambibig ko na ang mga students ko. How happy they’ve made me as their intern teacher as well as their choir conductor. Pilitin ko mang turuan ang puso kong magmahal ng dalawang bagay, still one has to suffer. (Sana dalawa ang puso ko?!)

“True success lies in those who have took risky decisions in life. Failed but chose to rise from the ashes of the failure.”

Here I am, going through the dilemma of choosing - whether its the career or the profession. My foster dad and mom argues about it. Even people I know also have split opinions on my dilemma, which causes me more problems as each day grows nearing to graduation.

Ze book that might change the course of my history.

One day, I dropped by BOOKSALE (which is actually my favorite stall amongst all the stalls at SMClark, second is the ice-cream stall near it) and, I don’t know. Maybe it was His purpose kung bakit nasumpungan ko yung book ni Margaret Feinberg. It’s the same title as of this note.

WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE?

And it hit me. Like a boulder (not a rock, kasi mas malaki yung boulder.), it hit me hard. And you know what? It was the first time-ever na bumili ako ng mahal na book sa BOOKSALE. Kahit 185PHP siya, binili ko pa rin kasi I wanted the information on that book so badly. I knew that one way or another, that book can help me (or atleast lessen the burden) sa problemang kinahaharap ko sa mga panahon ngayon.

At first, it talked me through what I had talked myself through - “Anung balak mo?”. Which developed into a more page-turner, exciting moment for me. Habang nasa Starbucks at umiinom ng Mocha Latte, ayun ako at unti unting ninanamnam ang mga salitang mahahanap sa libro. It deepened. Every page that the author, Margaret Freinberg, published was worth reading. Unknown to me na Christian pala siya (kasi kung babasahin mo yung mga unang pages, di naman kasi siya nagspecify ng mga hints na she had Christian orientations), it made me even more interested and hooked to the book.

“The money was worthy of it’s spending.”

- -

“The key to finding an impact is finding the right place for your unique skills and passions to really thrive.” - Brian Mosley.

Parang banat lang ng mga pikap people sa school nung nabasa ko to from that book. It super made that great BOOM sa’ken lalo na’t I was really having a dilemma of what path to choose. Here is what the rest of the book offered me.

As we read the gospels, it becomes clear that Jesus wasn’t concerned with what people did as much as how they did it. The entire Sermon on the Mount is focused on how we treat others, NOT OUR PROFESSIONS. Obviously God is willing to use people in all types of work to glorify Himself.

“Skill, ability and knowledge.”

Change happens at multiple levels - personal, community, state, national, and global. Every small initiative can make a tremendous difference. The reward might not be visible but I know God is working through me and in every step I take and every word I speak to them.

“Sometimes we won’t see the fruit of what we do, but that shouldn’t discourage us from doing what is good. It should motivate us to work harder.” - Michael, Assisted-living worker for the mentally incapable people in America.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO THINK ABOUT THE IMPACT OF YOUR INDIVIDUAL ACTIONS AND CAPITALIZE ON THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT ARE BEFORE YOU TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR OTHERS. - Betsy Taylor.

Then, I was asked to read Exodus 20 and Matthew 5-7. ( I tell you, it’s really been a long time since I opened my personal bible on a school day. Ngayon pa’t hectic *superrr -  ang sched! Usually kasi every Saturdays and Sundays lang kapag may service.) It was all about the Ten Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount.

I read it….

For sometime, I realized the principles that was in me all along. I had passion in singing all through-out my 19 years of existence in this world. I was even recognized by my Alma Mater as one of their Top Outstanding Students in the Field of Performing Arts (thank you po for believing). I can’t remember a day not having a song or two (minsan nga isang playlist pa e) na I did not hummed, sing or played inside my head. Music is embodied in my system ever since I was born into this world.

But after reading those passages from the bible, a whole new set of principles filled me. It’s not just principles na kinabit ko sa sarili ko kasi ito yung gusto ko, but a WHOLE NEW SET OF REALIZATIONS na alam kong risky at bago sa sistema ko, pero alam kong makakapag-contribute ako sa society kung ito ang ifa-follow ko.

My worn-out Bible. Worthy of being worn-out.^^

Here they are:

1. God first before others.

2. The welfare of guiding others to have worthwhile values rather than stagnant knowledge that would soon be forgotten by a person for the years to come.

3. Fulfill each day by, at least, inspiring someone to have that change in his heart. Believe in himself that he can do anything he desires his heart to do.

4. Instill the values that you have gained all throughout your existence.

5. Perform to a crowd, new to you, with the same heart that you have when you perform with an audience.

6. Give out your best so that others may also imitate what you do. (For sure it would have to be the BEST)

7. Plant yourself to the good soil and let flowers bloom for His glory.

8. Place your heart to whatever is asked of you, ONE STEP AT A TIME.

9. Forget not to correct a mistake, for mistakes do not exist - only lessons. Mistakes are only possible if you do not have the courage to correct them.

10. Offer all your accomplishments to Him for “In Him, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.” (Matthew 19:26)

YOU CAN TURN AN ORDINARY JOB INTO AN EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTUNITY BY REALIZING THAT GOD HAS PLACED YOU IN YOUR WORK TO SERVE AND INFLUENCE OTHERS FOR HIS KINGDOM. - Dwight “Ike” Reighard

- It simply comes down to being like Jesus to the people you work with and for.

Sa dinami-rami siguro ng kinatak ko dito sa note na to e iisipin niyo na na ALAM KO NA KUNG ANONG GAGAWIN KO SA BUHAY KO RIGHT AFTER COLLEGE. Here’s what… NOPE. I am still unsure of what path to take. But after going through some tough realizations, everything na nangyayare sa akin ay may purpose (Romans 8:28). Hindi naman ibig sabihin na alam ko na ang magiging kalalabasan ng buhay ko right after college. NO. Only He knows kung anong meron na trabaho na nakalaan specially para saken. Whether its teaching or singing. It excites me. YES. It excites me so much. Kasi alam ko na He has His plans for me. Anu man ang tahakin kong daan. Kasi nga Jeremiah 29:11!

YES. It excites me so much. Kasi alam ko na He has His plans for me.

Hindi naman Siya katulad nating mga tao na iiwan tayo kapag di kasiya-siya yung road na tinahak natin in the future e. His blessings are still with us, no matter what road we choose.

I remember the conversation I had with Bro. Joel Montoya (elder sa Spirit of Love Catholic Community, na nag-silbing tatay ko narin nung nangailang ako ng isa pang ama. :D) not so long ago, “If you know what’s in-stored for you at end of this race, tatakbuhin mo pa rin ba?” Kung nakakalungkot, for sure maraming magbaback-out, pero kung happy ending - marami naman ang gagad to finish. Pero it’s not even that… if there are two roads, they will surely be diverged into one. (Robert Frost daw ie.) Kahit ano pa man ang nasa dulo ng roads na yun - pagkanta or pagtuturo, nakakasigurado ako na ida-diverge ito ni Lord para magawa ku din yung dalawang bagay na yun sa profession or career ko.

Career o Profession?

I have plans of auditioning to talent competitions right after college. Sing my heart out. I am also, currently, undergoing interviews and demo-teaching sa mga schools na tumatawag sa kin. I teach students at Claro M. Recto ICT High School, not only English but also Music (singing properly, basically). Ang aking mga Bunakis. (mahal ko sila, UBER!) And it fulfills me as a being. I enjoy doing it both. Singing and Teaching. I never knew I would slowly fall in love with my profession as I have been, always, with my career as a performer.

Only He knows the plans He has for me. As of now, I’ll just let Him take over my dilemma (cause it’s really stressing me out!) and lead me to the path where He knows is best for me. Where I can contribute greatly to the society and of course, a path that would glorify Him the most.

So let me end this note with my favorite verse in the Bible found in the book of my wise man - King Solomon.

“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

-Proverbs 3:5,6

:)

To all the Graduating Students of Batch 2011-2012.

#GODBLESSUSALL!

(Whatever path in the future that we would take, we can be assured of His guidance^^)